Serdar Yoly and other treats

The great and honorable Turkmenbashy, Father of Turkmenistan and first and life-long President of said country, before his unfortunate death in 2006 gifted his people with Serdar Yoly, a “health walk” outside of the capital city. Serdar Yoly consists of an 8-mile set of stairs up and across the mountains bordering Turkmenistan and Iran (below) and a manicured park at the walk’s base (left). As one of the only free entertainment/ hang-out places in the city, the park is filled on the weekends with teenagers, young families, and college students. And last Sunday, to this group was added myself and the Intermediate-Low English class from the Balkent: Turkish Language Center in Ashgabat. My principal’s 19-year daughter (and my friend/tutoree) takes classes there and so I was invited along as the guest of honor and the opportunity-to-practice-English guinea pig. The girls were all Russian or Turkish (all were born here, but they know even less Turkmen than me) and so we spoke halting English in order to communicate our opinions of Justin Timberlake, the dance moves of Usher and Shakira, the beauty of Mariah Carey vs. Rihanna, and the various merits of using English to be a translator, an oil baron interpreter, or an English teacher. I learned that my badminton skills have not improved since middle school gym (the birdie nearly fell in the “river” filled with dead fish twice) and I have forgotten how to jump rope (I blame the grass and the skirt). It was another of those great field-trip days where there isn’t really a story because everything went right. We ended the day singing along to Savage Garden and Rihanna on someone’s cell phone and laughing as we stuffed our faces with chocolate and Coca Cola.

I’d explain the picture at right, but I think I’d just ruin it. Just enjoy and ponder.

An aside -
As I write this, the kitchen smells like raw sheep’s bowels. Most of you probably have no sensory memory to identify that smell and you should thank your lucky stars individually and by name for the privilege of not knowing what the intestinal tract and bladder of a sheep smells like. It’s like the sheep meat aftertaste times ten and then mixed with sewage, blood, and wet dog hair. Bon appetite!

As a final special final treat, take my Mid-Term Exam for the 7th-9th graders’ class:
Part 1: Which word doesn’t belong?
1. a) orange b) purple c) jeans d) gray
2. a) glasses b) earrings c) shoes d) hat
3. a) skirt b) dress c) blouse d) umbrella
4. a) watch b) tie c) mittens d) glove
5. a) mittens b) pocketbook c) purse d) briefcase

6. a) singer b) nurse c) doctor d) hospital worker
7. a) cook b) carpet-maker c) dress-maker d) shepherd
8. a) teacher b) driver c) director/ principal d) student

Part 2: Fill in the correct word in the sentence and/or answer the questions
9. What do you want to be?
a) I don’t want teacher.

b) thief, street fighter, and drug addict

c) I want to wear a white shirt and jeans.

d) I want to be a rich businessman.

10. Do you know English?
a) I “kinda” know English.

b) English difficult think I am.
c) Do you guess I know.

d) I guess I made a mistake, that is my English.

11. I think that ____ _____ my pants.
a) this is

b) that are
c) these is

d) those are

Extra Credit: Fill in the blanks
A. May I help you?
B. Yes, please. I’m looking for a _____.
A. Here’s a nice _____.
B. But this is a ____ _____!
A. That’s okay. _____ _____s are very popular this year. American girls wear them.